This morning I stumbled across a new (to me, at least) energy drink at my local 7-11:
From the 'no-real-argument-for-this-to-exist-but-I'm-kinda-glad-it-does' category.
"Four MaXed"
"Premium Malt Beverage with Caffeine • Wormwood Oil • Taurine • Guarana • Natural and Artificial Flavors and Certified Color (FD&C Red #40 and FD&C Blue #1)
16 fl Oz. • 10.0% Alc/Vol"
Wormwood Oil, of course, contains the active ingredient in Absinthe (Artemisia absinthium) that provides the bitter taste, but more to the point, the thujone that allegedly drove all those bohemian artists crazy back around the fin-de-siècle.
From Erowid.com: "The primary reported effects of wormwood ingestion are a mild, hazy disorientation accompanied by a dreamlike or surreal feeling sometimes called "the dollhouse effect". This refers to the appearance of things as though they are idealized copies of themselves, as if they are from a dollhouse. Other reported effects include a feeling of mental lucidity, stimulation, mild euphoria, and a sense of relaxation."
Now put that in a wine cooler, add caffeine, taurine (aids in quick absorbtion of the other ingrediants), guarana (which contains 5 times as much caffeine by weight as coffee), and some artificial sweeteners.
Then sell it for $1.99 per pint at your neighborhood convenience store. Breakfast of champions.
The only real problem I have with this product is their style in marketing.
From the 'www.drinkfour.com' site, the makers of "Four MaXed" (which takes you to their MySpace page, natch (hey, why pay for a site when you can use a free social-networking one?)):
Great, they're pathetically sexist. Just when I thought I'd found a product crazy enough I could support it.
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5 comments:
Sorry, but they remove the thujone from the wormwood oil in this product. Thujone is the psychoactive agent in wormwood.
Yeah, I know. But recent studies have shown there wasn't really any thujone in the classic absinthe recipes, either.
But it still has a reputation, which I'm sure the manufacturers of "Four MaXed" count on for selling this crap.
Charming as ever, Mike.
And I can't help it, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool second-wave feminist, deal.
i don't love these hos.
Look, I love breasts as much as the next guy, believe me. Like John Cusack's character in 'High Fidelity' says about mens' fascination with the wonderful titty; "We're pretty sure they used to be ours, and we want them back".
What I have a problem with is hanging them over a product that nobody really should consume in an attempt to generate a primal association between the target consumer's lust and this crappy wine cooler. You can't even see the model's face, she only exists as tits, as an object of distraction. Sorry, but that ain't right, and it bothers me enough I won't support their product.
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