"Loss of brain activity, cell death, stroke, hallucinations, confusion, mental illness, death"

Just got back from a daytrip to Portland with my sister Kiaya and Mum. Went to the Oregon Museum of Science & Industry to see 'Dinosaurs, China's Ancient Giants'.

After viewing all the neat dinosaur stuff (did you know velociraptors were no bigger than poodles?) we drifted into the Physical Science wing. This is the section with all the brightly colored science thingies for kids to play with without knowing they're learning. Van de Graaf generators, earthquake simulators, paper airplanes, foam arches, etc.

Harder than it looks!


Part of this had a whole section devoted to human health, including something like 30 embryos/fetuses/babies lining a wall by 'age', and a whole display devoted to the physical damage caused by prolonged alcohol abuse, and a whole display on the dangers of more than 2 hours per day in front of a monitor.

There was also a bunch of physical tests to let you judge how you compare to the norm.

One of the tests was for balance/core strength. Essentially a circular disc on a center post.
You push a button, balance on the board, and when you release your hold on the steady-bar the timer starts, stopping when you tip over enough.
I couldn't make it past 3-and-a-half seconds.

Get up, fatman!


There was also a dexterity test, with a small metal ring attached to a wire & buzzer. You have to snake the ring around another wire, bent at odd angles and such. Think 3D 'Operation'.
This test I wizzed through, piece of cake. Had to TRY to get the buzzer to sound.

(This is an example of a simpler version.)


And one was a test of grip strength. Grab the handles and squeeze. I think the 'target average' was around 50 lbs.
My little sister hit about 20 lbs for each hand. Mum did better, hitting 40 or 50 lbs.
My right hand pegged at 126 lbs with the first squeeze, my left hand at 116 lbs, 125 on a retry.


What can we deduce from these specific results?

• Next time you see me in a bar I will most likely bump into you while crossing the room, or trip over completely nothing lying in my way.

• My cocktail, however, will float gracefully by with nary a drop spilt, as if supported by unseen angels.

• And good luck getting that glass out of my deathgrip, boyo, that's the only part of me still strong....