Eat it before it eats you.

First off, read this post by my friend Mike: http://blog.riotnrrd.net/2009/03/mcbukkake.html
Seriously, read his first.













Read it?

Good.

I try to eat a very healthy diet these days, partly since I'm coming up on 40 years old & my carcass has developed the unfortunate habit of converting every single calorie I consume into about a pound of fat.

Plus after switching to a Raw Vegan diet a few years ago I lost a great deal of weight and felt years younger. No kidding, I honestly felt physically younger. Fresher, fitter, bouncier; it was great.

Hard diet to stick to, though. Now I try to maintain at least a 75% raw diet, which keeps me fairly fit, but still allows me to enjoy the odd Bacchanalian pig-out. Or the occasional foray into American-style fastfood creativity/death-defying.


My review of Mike's creation, the McBukkake:

First, the Positive.

• The flavor. Believe or don't, this beast actually tastes pretty good. Two types of fried meat, with cheeze! Plus what doesn't taste better with Ranch Dressing?

• The audacity. Seriously, think about it. Roughly one in six persons on this planet of ours doesn't have access to clean drinking water on a daily basis. 2.2 million die each year from dirty water, and 90% of those deaths are children under 5. But we got Double Quarter Pounders & Crispy Chicken Ranch BLTs, handed over the counter in less than one minute.

• The Size. I mean honestly. This will end up being at least three 'meals' for me.


um, that's about it for the positive.


As for the Negative (besides the obvious; this thing is Fried Death with Cheese):

• The price. Part of the charm of the McGangbang was the fact it was constructed from a couple of Dollar Menu items; $2.18 after tax. The McBukkake? A staggering $10.30. I couldn't believe I was spending that much, and spending that much at McDonalds, and spending that much at McDonalds for two sandwiches.

• The damage. Dbl Quarter Pounder: 740 calories, 42 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 48 grams of protein. Crispy Ranch BLT: 580 calories, 23 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 32 grams of protein. If consumed all at once that represents almost all your daily allowance of calories, all of your fat, and slightly more than your daily saturated allowance. That's assuming a 2,000 calorie a day American diet; mine is normally considerably lower on all counts (not counting calories from alcohol).


Overall take on it? The McBukkake reminds me of Las Vegas, a city for which I have a deep & heartfelt love. Like Vegas, it exemplifies all the things great about this country; gaudy, entertaining, sad, slightly greasy, overwhelmingly large, ridiculously priced, ultimately deadly, and just all-around good old-fashioned goofy fucking fun. Try it at least once, but have an escape route planned.