I {heart} doing drugs.

MMMMmmmmmm, drugs.......

Though honestly I don't really 'do them' on a regular basis anymore. Apart from gin (poor man's Prozac) I really live pretty straight now. But in the interest of 'full disclosure' I offer the following recollections.

And if you're wondering why/how I kept such notes; I got into drugs so late in life I was able to document the journey. And what a strange, wonderful journey it's been.

Let's back up for a minute, though. I came of age in the '8os, with national DARE programs just starting in schools, with Nancy Reagan's famous 'Just Say No' campaign, with 'Miami Vice' showing us how well-dressed the bad guys were before Don Johnson & P.M. Thomas blew them away. I was fully indoctrinated into society's complete 'this is your brain in a frying pan' simplification of drugs.

However, I was raised in an environment where my inborn curiousity was supported, where I had a full library at my disposal, and I was encouraged to read as much as I wanted. (Two sets of encyclopaedias, many dictionaries, thesauri, animal encyclopaedias, world atlases, over 14 board-feet of 'National Geographic's going back to before I was born. And me mum's a nurse, so we had a decent medical flavor to the library as well.) Not only was I encouraged to always ask any questions I had, but I was instructed on how to find the answer myself. Very important part of who I am today, and one of the few things from my childhood I treasure.

At any rate, I was bright enough growing up to know there was much more to drugs than the media-flavored 'info' we'd been fed. Don't get me wrong, I have no delusions concerning the destructive nature of drugs in some people's lives (I've recently seen it perfectly fuckin' illustrated), but I knew there had to be more to the drug experience than 'Reefer Madness'.

My interest in the truth of the experience was fully ignited by a little film that came out in '98, "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" by my favorite director, Terry Gilliam. I'd read the novel years earlier, but the visual impact of the film, coupled with two of the most outstanding actors of our generation diving head first into the open-manhole of their characters led me to a renewed interest in experimentation. Here were two very smart characters using drugs in massive quantities, and presented in a way that was contrary to anything I'd seen before.

Add to that the emotional place I was in (28 years old, a few years after my divorce, independent & solely responsible for myself, my actions, and the consequences of such for the first time), and add in the circle of friends I had, and it all fell into place. I would research each drug, learn its history, its pharmacology & effects, its risks. And then I'd eat them.

I told my friend Mike of my intent to eat (or more accurately, I asked him for his help in procuring) any & all drugs he could find for me.

Apart from marijuana, which I'd first tried on June 25, '94 (my wedding day, actually, about 4 hours after the ceremony), these were all new to me, first enjoyed on the dates listed.


June 25, '94 —Pot.

Oct 31, '98 —Mushrooms. That's right, first time I ate mushies was on Halloween. Good call. I ended up hiding in the bushes from my 'handlers'. And breaking a shitload of Mike's (stolen) CDs.

Jan 7, '99 —Cocaine. Spendy, but damn is it worth it. Reportedly can bring dead junkies back to life. At least, the steady tattoo of razor on glass brings 'em all up off the couch.

Apr 30, '99 —LSD. A whole world I'd never dreamt unfolded for me. Everybody should have to try acid, on 2 separate occasions, before they turn 18. This society of ours would be a lot more chill, a lot more positive, and a lot more altruistic. Just sayin'.

May 9, '99 —Heroin. Overdose. Kids, word of advice; don't cook up with Holy Water. Seriously.

June 16, '99 —Ecstasy. Strangely, I loved techno for almost a decade before I tried XTC.

Aug 28, '99 —Crack. Waste of good coke.

July 14, '00 —Opium. Ah, now there's a drug I could enjoy daily. Your body turns into a small lizard sunning itself on a rock; your world becomes brighter; your mind wide awake, crystal clear, & trapped on the other side of the looking-glass. Julie & I once took a gram each before going into Disneyland. Happiest place on earth, indeed.

Aug 17, '00 —Absinthe. Tastes like licorice, gets you mad-drunk, and yeah, can make you batshit crazy. Rough hangovers, too.

July 13, '02 —Mescaline. Only got to try this one once, highly recommend it though.

July 5, '03 —Ether. Ah, devil ether. Makes your breath smell like lighter-fluid for days, probably melts large chunks of your brain into kibble & gravy, but damn, is it fun. (Wawawawawawawawawawawa!)

June 12, '06 —Meth. Hillbilly cocaine. Makes you feel like crap, but if you can't afford blow & need to be up for 3 days straight this is the way to go. Especially if you like sweating battery acid & everybody is already out to get you ....

Nov 21, '06 —Butyl Nitrate. "And now for the Doctor." Like doing Whippets, but it's medicinal.

Jan 30, '07 —Salvia divinorum. Fun, fun, fun. Sprinkle it on your weed. Make sure you're sitting down when you hit it, tho.

Nov 12, '07 —Ayahuasca. Aka, Yage. Traditional South American brew used by shamans for vision quests & astral projection & to speak with the dead. Rumored to allow groups of people to experience telekinesis. A MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitor (think powerful antidepressant) with DMT, or Dimethyltryptamine (a powerful hallucinogen); you will throw up on this ride. Oh, but what a ride.


That's the list so far. Which doesn't include a whole galaxy of prescriptions drugs from over the years; muscle relaxers, pain-killers, somebody's month-worth of Paxel (to be blogged about later). Not that there're that many more to track down, I've hit the majors, and been able to get the minors I was interested in (salvia, ayahuaska).

As for advocating drug use? I'm either the best person to ask or the the worst, depending on your POV.

I've had some rough experiences on drugs, but they certainly haven't destroyed my life. I've seen so much more damage to so many people's lives from alcohol than from any illicit drug use.

And I've had many, many, many, muh-henny, wonderful experiences on drugs, but not enough to destroy my life by becoming some 'be-all-end-all'. I can put down the pipe & turn off the vidgames any time I want....

If you're curious, I'd say go for it. But research, research, research. And don't believe everything your research tells you. And find somebody you can trust to 'babysit' you your first time. And don't tell anybody I told you to do drugs. But do them. A lot.