Thank goodness for that healthcare overhall; now we can eat whatever we want, right?

Caffeinated Maple-Bacon Lollipops

"Behold Caffeinated Maple-Bacon Lollipops; look at them and cheer. For not only are they each a time-tested wonder of organic, sustainably farmed bacon mixed with a deluge of delicious Vermont maple syrup, but they are loaded with the same amount of caffeine as an energy drink!"

http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/candy/d85e/

Why I love Hollywood the same way you'd have to love a retarded puppy:

She pours heavy, in the know.

She pours heavy, in the know.

Leans on her side of the bar
same way I lean on mine.

Cornteeth and waxhair,
'Jenny' inked on her neck.
She should be circle-smoking a cigarette
instead of cudding on gum.

Sees me scratching on paper.
"No ma'am, I'm not"
another one of those

fucking
bar
poets.

But if I were
I'd write one for you.

Cat-baffling, Moog style.

Proof once more that everything sounds better in German: