Friday, May 29, 2009

The single greatest use of technology in the history of everything.



http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/cocktailcompass/page



Cellphone saturation has reached an estimated 66% of the world population. From their 1G incarnation in '79 to just 30 years later there are now roughly 4 billion cellphones currently in use. 2 out of every 3 persons on earth have a cellphone.

I remain in the 1 of 3 minority of those monkeys who have yet to get around to 'needing' one. And not for some Neo-Luddite soapboxing or anti-materialistic posturing; I simply haven't felt any actual need to get one, yet.

My position has been rocked slightly with the recent offering of a new iPhone application from "The Stranger" (the iPhone is already 'sexy' enough to have caught my eye, but this bumps that technolust to the next level).

"The Stranger's Cocktail Compass" is a free application that uses the iPhone's built-in assisted GPS, 3G high-speed data transfer, and "The Stranger's" database of Seattle bars to provide an instant, on-demand, location-specific handheld pointer to the nearest 'Happy Hours', complete with countdown to when the Hour ends:

"Tap the app and in mere moments you'll have the nearest happy hour at your fingertips, along with its location, distance, and how long you'll have before happy hour is over."



"Love a place you found with Cocktail Compass? Make it a favorite and find it again next time-even if your memory's a bit blurry on how you ended up there in the first place."

And it even offers the (divinely inspired) dedicated 'Cabs' button:

"Having too much fun? At the end of the night, hit the Cabs icon, and call a cab to take you home."


It's like a piece of tech from "Start Trek the Next Generation" (you know, what the 'future' used to be) has been repurposed for poor Seattle drunkards like me!
Oh, I am sorely tempted....




Thursday, May 28, 2009

"Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Make Water Again"




http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5381234/Japanese-publisher-prints-horror-novel-on-toilet-roll.html


"Horror writer Koji Suzuki ("The Ring", "Spiral", "Dark Water") has teamed up with a Japanese paper manufacturer to have his latest stomach-churning novella published in a very convenient form - on toilet paper.

"His latest work is set in a public toilet and plays on Japanese superstitions that ghosts and evil spirits inhabit the smallest room in the house, which is why they were traditionally relegated to the most distant part of the home.

"The nine-chapter tale is appropriately titled "Drop," and is the alarming story of an evil spirit that inhabits a toilet bowl.

"Parents still tell naughty children that a hairy hand will seize them when they have their pants around their ankles if they misbehave and drag them down into the dark water below."











Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

GBTI

It's hard to remember a time before the internet gave us nearly instant access to the most trivial bits of information (this blog, for example). The following represents 3 or 4 minutes of digressive online wandering:


Customer returned a DVD for "Savage Grace"; mentioned how dark it was. I like 'dark', but I don't know this movie, so I read the back of the box/check IMDB.
The story's vaguely familiar; some sex/murder scandal involving heirs to the Bakelite fortune back in the '70s. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379976/

Meh, not really my type of film, but I do find Bakelite interesting. It holds a certain nostalgia for me; my second typewriter was a glorious old Royal from the '30s. This isn't it, but it's the same model:

Bakelite keys, Bakelite knobs on the platen roll, Bakelite handle on the carry case. I still have her, and in more or less working order.

Bakelite dropped out of fashion in the '50s when less complicated/expensive plastics were developed. Bakelite uses a fair amount of arsenic in its manufacturing; besides which it's a relatively brittle plastic compared to the ones coming out then.

I decide to brush up on Bakelite at wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bakelite
Among other interesting bits of trivia;

"The thermosetting plastic was at one point considered for the manufacture of coins, due to a shortage of traditional manufacturing material. In 1943, Bakelite and other non-metal materials were tested for usage as a penny in the United States before the Mint settled on zinc coated steel."

This makes me wonder if Bakelite pennies are traded by collectors. Check Ebay for 'Bakelite penny'.

No luck, but it did pull 1 item; "LUCKY PENNY ENCASED 1917 CENT - CHAMBER POT - BAKELITE"




As the item description says this is shaped like an old chamberpot (or 'gazunder' because it "goes under" the bed when not in use http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gazunder). My mum was born in 1948, and as a child in England they had gazunders for when it was too cold or late to use the outhouse.

Anyways, molded into the front of this tchochki is the phrase "GOOD WHEN CAUGHT SHORT". This is an old novelty item, the "...CAUGHT SHORT" is a reference to when you need to "spend a penny", or use a public toilet that charged a penny to open the stall door.

It strikes me yet again how stunning the progress of our technology has been; from chamberpots & outhouses to high-speed internet & online auction houses in a little over 50 years.

My mother takes it all in stride, (and she's the one with the titanium knee) but I still find it all fascinating. Can't wait to see what's next.

Friday, May 8, 2009

From a recent "Sam's Club" summer mailer....


click on the pic for a slightly closer, greasier, more Type-2-inducing close-up:



Thursday, May 7, 2009

Good for the soul....


I haven't seen "Crank" with Jason Statham, I heard it was an okay action "cartoon" if you're looking for big explosions and whatnot, and don't mind turning your brain off for awhile. The basic plot is a hitman is injected with a poison that will kill him shortly unless he can keep his adrenaline level elevated.

Now I have nothing against cheezy action films; I watch so many good films (last one seen: "Le Lit de la Vierge", or "the Virgin's Bed" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064593/; it was quite a good little trip) I occasionally need to just blow out the old jets with something mindless. So don't think I'm mocking this just because it's an action film.

Anyways, they made a sequal, "Crank 2: High Voltage". It opened back in April; made it's cost ($20 mil) back during it's domestic release. A friend clued me in to how 'awesome' the trailer is. It's so ridiculous you end up feeling better by the end of it you've been laughing so hard. I still don't plan on seeing it however.

Keep in mind, he fell out of a helicopter & died at the end of the first "Crank".
Enjoy.



Wednesday, May 6, 2009

2009 Nondemic; meme check!


From 'urbandictionary.com':

Swine Flucation
The time spent not at school or work due to the closures caused by the Swine Flu scare. Can be used with any virus, e.g., Bird flucation, regular Flucation, etc.
"We have nothing planned for the kids during their Swine Flucation, since the school's closed."


Swine Flew
Reference to the Swine Flu epidemic and the common phrase "When Pigs Fly" in relation to certain preceeding events.
"First the U.S.A. got a black President; and then swine flew!"


Swine-co de Mayo
The new 'Cinco de Mayo' Celebration in the USA for this year, especially in sunny San Diego, CA.
"Dood, let's grab some pork 'carnitas' and a sixer of cold Dos Equis. It's 'Swine-co de Mayo'!!!


Swinefluent
Someone who is an expert on the subject of Swine Flu.
"I wish I knew how this flu is worse than a traditional flu. I need to speak to someone who is Swinefluent."


Swinepocalypse
Describes the over-the-top scaremonger media coverage induced panic over the "dangerous" and "deadly" "pandemic" of swine flu. See also - aporkalypse
"We're all going to die of swine flu! It's the swinepocalypse!"
"Dude, I can't believe school is closed because of this bad ass swinepocalypse!"



and my personal favorite:

Swine Media
A general reference to all members of the media (press, radio, TV, Internet) who play on public emotions to turn a minor event into a global crisis... typically with minimal, if any, actual facts or data.
"John Stewart did a great spoof on the swine media last night on the Daily Show. After showing some clips as examples, he mentioned that he's secretly working on a cure for "raccoon flu" in his basement lab. He says there's more money in developing cures for diseases before they exist! Brilliant!"


And not cited, but related entries:

Swine Jew
Swine Flu Boner
Swineophobia
Swine Whiner (which obviously should have been contracted to 'Swhiner'....



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

2009 Nondemic update.


As I commented on in the earlier post of mine about this nondemic, it's becoming more interesting to follow the viral spread of fear than any actual influenza virus.


From the CDC's Press Briefing yesterday:
http://www.cdc.gov/media/transcripts/2009/t090504.htm


"There are 35 known hospitalizations in the United States with the one reported death. 62% of the confirmed cases are under 18 years of age. The World's Health Organization earlier today was reporting 898 cases in 18 countries.

"I like to each day put this in context with seasonal flu. With seasonal flu, we see in the United States over 30 million cases. We see 200,000 hospitalizations and, on average, 36,000 deaths.
"To put this in context, I keep saying that it's looking like it's along the severity of seasonal flu. We know that each year with seasonal flu, people are hospitalized and people die, and unfortunately, we expect here that with a virus of this severity that there will be ongoing hospitalizations and that there will be additional deaths. "


Monday, May 4, 2009

"100 Days" gets a lot of press...



... here are some of the better pics:
(click on 'em to zoom)
pimp move









pimp move



pimp move




helluva pimp move












Inauguration day. This one makes me proud of my country.




This one makes me fucking tear up.








As does this one.







and finally:


The only 'decent' thing that 'Dub' son of a bitch ever did was fuck up the world enough to make America willing to elect a liberal black man president, well before any of us dreamed it possible.

(Oh, and we'll be seeing you in court about them lies and no-bid contracts and torture and cover-ups and abuse of human rights soon, asshole. And thanks for the economy; those tax breaks for corporations really helped stimulate growth).

Friday, May 1, 2009

The 2009 Nondemic....


I am becoming more and more convinced this 'pandemic' is nothing more than a MEDIA virus. Our global news culture has more ability to spread a viral thought than our global community has to spread a (more and more apparently) weak strain of influenza.

Yesterday the World Health Organization was stating 130 confirmed deaths in Mexico; today that number dropped to 15 confirmed caused by H1N1. Our 'regular' yearly influenza is responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths. Per year. Normally we don't call it a 'pandemic' unless it's responsible for millions of deaths.

Oh, and they also announced the facemasks everybody's been wearing (and governments have been giving out free) are too open to stop the virus. Reminds me of the dudes in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" gassing the pets to spread the fear. Looks great in a picture; has nothing to do with reality.

Let's just go back to normal and find some real news, please?